Saturday, September 21, 2013

Joke of the Week

Closing the Sale

"Salesperson trying to close the sale of a treadmill to a customer in the store: 'Due to the space-age materials used in making this model, this one collects less dust than other exercise equipment.'"

Monday, August 19, 2013

Joke of the Week

No Power

"A co-worker at my office called Tech Support with an improbable story: She said she dropped her mouse and her PC shutdown.  The tech made the trip to her desk.  No question, her computer is off.  And when he punches the PC's power switch to restart it, nothing happens.  He asked her where she dropped her mouse.  She replied, 'Behind the desk.' 
Sure enough, she had managed to hit the on/off switch on the power strip.
The tech told her, 'Good shot.'"

Monday, August 5, 2013

Joke of the Week


"A little girl was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets.  Someone asked her what the bracelet was for.  She replied, 'I am allergice to nuts and eggs.' 
The person asked, 'Are you allergic to cats?'
The girl said, 'I don't know.  I don't eat cats."

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Joke of the Week

Food Chain

"After discussing the 'food chain' with my fifth grade class, I told them their weekend homework was to write a sentence showing they understood the meaning of the term.

On Monday morning, one student handed this in: 'Burger King is my favorite food chain.'"

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Joke of the Week


"A husband and wife were building a sunroom to accommodate their new hot tub. The project soon turned into a money pit.

During one of their numerous trips to the hardware store, the husband inquired about exhaust fans. The store clerk looked them up on the computer and praised one fan in particular because it was exceptionally quiet.
The husband asked for the price. After receiving the answer, he sighed and asked, 'Do you have anything louder?'"

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Joke of the Week

Conditioned Response

"When my daughter-in-law and I caught only one perch on our fishing trip ... not enough for even a modest lunch ... we decided to feed it to her two cats.

She put our catch in their dish and watched as the two pampered pets sniffed at the fish but refused to eat it.
Thinking quickly, my daughter-in-law then picked up the dish, walked over to the electric can opener, ran it for a few seconds, then put the fish back down.
The cats dug right in."

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Joke of the Week

Shopping List

"I was ill and my husband volunteered to go to the supermarket for me. I sent him off with a carefully numbered list of seven items.

He returned shortly, very proud of himself, and proceeded to unpack the grocery bags. He had one bag of sugar, two cartons of eggs, three hams, four boxes of detergent, five boxes of crackers, six eggplants, and seven green peppers."